sick

I am sick. The classic kind of ‘lying in bed all day feeling lonely with a bucket next to you thinking how to make it to the shower today’. I don’t know if it’s just me, but the thing I hate most about being ill is that I start to blame myself for it. What did I…

autumn

Making a crumble out of the very last harvest, picked from our Amsterdam garden.

Quiet

It has been a little quiet here lately. Moving back and forth between Amsterdam and the mountains means moving through huge energy shifts. The silence and power of the mountain and the quick pace and turmoil of the city, I love them both, it makes life rich, but also hectic again I feel. On top…

boring!

How can you be so busy and so bored at the same time?! Life back in busy Amsterdam is very full and very dynamic. Get up at 6.45 wash yoga dressed make lunchbox dress another feed the dog feed myself feed the kids or forget to feed the kids rush of on the bike check…

travels

For two years I have been “stuck” in one place. Arriving on our mountain I felt such a sense of relief I just stopped moving. Even going down the valley to get food would be something I would postpone as much as I could. I loved living away from the world. I loved my time outside…

mocktail

“Self-deprecation is only for people who have self-respect”. Sometimes you hear yourself say something and you think, hmm, where did this come from. I said it to a guy who put on his swimming shorts at the beach, only to find out they had shrunk. A lot. His girlfriend started to laugh, he was not…

interview

A couple of weeks ago we filmed an interview for dutch npo docs with Chris Kijne. Looking back on All We Ever Wanted, the documentary I made five years ago, with these two super talented guys: Illustrator Daniel Roozendaal and tattoo artist Emiel Steenhuizen who were brave enough to tell their story on camera. Find out now if they…

forgiveness

Forgiveness is understanding, that I may never know why we hurt each other, or which one of us needs to grow

selfish

We spent the weekend in Paris. People sleeping on the sidewalk in the rain. Children begging around the car. Slightly older children dealing drugs in the metro station. We eat in nice restaurants and sleep in a fancy hotel. While thousands and thousands are making their way out of war to Europe. It is all happening at the…

riddles

Most people do not say what they think. And most people do not do what they say. There is something in the speaking that goes wrong. In the speaking we try to be ‘better’ persons than we are. We say things we think people want to hear and which can be very different to how…

to not be someone

I remember when I was in high school and it became clear that ‘I had to be someone’. And I did not think long, I am very ambitious, so I made ‘someone’. But that someone never really worked. And since some time I let go of the someone. I don’t need someone I have to live up…