on writing

I changed my ambition at 17. From writing at an early age and wanting to become a writer I went to wanting to become a painter.

I changed my ambition at 20. From being a selling painter I went to wanting to become a journalist.

I changed my ambition at 22. From being a journalist I went to wanting to become a director.

I changed my career at 37. From being a director I went to wanting to become a writer.

It is a full circle. I always said to myself I could not write in this lifetime, because it would be too easy. It is too close to what I love most and what feels natural to me. I should aim higher, challenge myself. So here I was, directing; crying at difficult shoots in foreign countries, stressing the life out of my producers and taking tranquilizers to get me through the week. Just because otherwise it would be too easy. Not that writing is actually easy. It takes me loads of time to write an article, I get really insecure about my book, I read literature and think; ok let’s call it quits. But what wins me over again and again is the joy. The fact that I feel so alive and happy after a day writing and that I get frustrated and angry if I didn’t write. Funny thing is that the other day I started going through some boxes to find my painting equipment…

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