It is my birthday in two days, and this year this period seems to have more emphasis than ever. Not even because of the number (39!!) but because of what brought me here. Over the last months I have felt a transformation beyond words. Something in me opening up more deeply every day far beyond my understanding. Sometimes it gave me peace, sometimes it made me nervous, sometimes it made me panic, but every time it made me more honest and gave me more space and courage.

Once you go down the road of life, the real wild nature life, there is no way back. You sink into who you really are, layers and layers of you are peeling away for you to enter straight into your mysterious core. My birthday felt like a climax, as if the road ahead finally will become clear.

Where will we live? What will I do? Who will I become?

Today I gave myself my birthday gift. I spend the who afternoon cleaning the house with my children while Mr T. chopped wood in the garden. Yes I hear you laugh, but this is my gift to myself. Time with my kids, ritually cleaning the walls, the floors, the things we touch every day while we sing songs, thank our sweet house and all the beings that live in it and make jokes. The place has never felt so good. But besides from creating massive amounts of positive energy, I also cleaned out the old to make space for the new year to come. My new year.

You don’t have to have a birthday coming up to give your house a ritual clean. Just throw some crystals, herbs, oils and good intention into a bowl of warm water and start cleaning with it while you sing lovely things for your space. Try it when you have a bad day and wait for the magic.

Yesterday I’ve interviewed Emily Esfahani Smith, author of The Power of Meaning. She’s writing on how meaning creates happiness. Taking care of the place I love living in with the persons I am most crazy about in my life, inviting all the good stuff in, keeping ourselves warm and aware and happy. I cannot think of any better way to start 39.