What are the things that cause most stress?
- Time. Hurrying, making schedules, changing them, feeling rushed, wanting too much in a too small time frame.
- Money. It this worth this kind of money? Could I have spent it better? Do I get paid enough? Will I get my money back?
- Resistance. I don’t want this to happen. How can I change it?
Like most people I don’t want stress. But I keep inviting these three causers of it into my life. I might say to some extend I let them rule my life.
What do I like my life to be about?
- Gratitude. Being thankful for what I have.
- Creativity. Making stuff.
- Love. Loving the people I’m with.
This sounds a lot easier to do than stress around. I decided to try it for a bit. Shift my focus every time I recognize resistance. Because the negative feelings toward time and money (I also have nice feelings towards them – an empty sunday, buying a beautiful dress) are also all about resistance. (This resistance got a lot worse when the children came, suddenly you have to buy a lot more stuff and have a lot less time, but I’ll get to the topic of life with kids another time.)
Sums up all stress is about resistance: This has to be different! I have to change it!
I decided to stop stressing I had to stop resisting. All these thought, just allow them, practice gratitude and trust. When I think: This can’t happen, I can’t be late! I twist my thought to: Let me be late.
“Let it happen!” has become my mantra. When I go into ‘what if’ scenario’s or stress I take a deep breath and surrender. Let it happen. And I relax. Then you turn out to be just 3 minutes late and the person you are meeting is not even there yet. All stress free!
Once you let go of these stressful thoughts, you bump into the resistance to your feelings: I don’t want to feel this sadness, anger, jalousie, etc. And you do the same: Let it be (I sing it to the John Lennon melody).
“Peace is the acceptance of all feelings” a Guru once said. I find it now to be true. Resisting a feeling is far worse than just feeling it. This is why people get caught in fear for the fear. Resistance.
Once you get the hang of it, it gets kind of fun. You start to feel resistance everywhere. In your body, in your manners, in your words. At first it is scary as hell to let go. You think resistance is keeping it all into place, is keeping your life together. You think “If I let go it will all fall apart”. Try if you dare, just for an hour, maybe a day. Nothing will happen, you will just feel a lot more relaxed. And a lot more gratitude, because you’ll find out life is very good at taking care of itself, if you just let it be.