I often have the stuffy feeling people want more than I can give. Time, attention, dinner dates. I feel I am disappointing all over the place. It makes me angry and I feel like walking up the mountain alone and get away from everybody. Just leave me alone! I know this has nothing to do with other people but with me.
In the middle of the night I woke up and suddenly understood the word intimacy. Being intimated is being able to show your essence, to connect in essence. And for that we need an open heart. An open, fearless, giving, heart full of light and love for ourselves and others. Something I have never learned. I have learned to behave and to please and not bother others with how I feel. All things that keep the heart closed. I imagine this blue and purple and gold magnificent ball of light in my chest. Expanding to the hearts of the people and beings around me. For everyone to see and share. You do not have to give away anything if you know how to share. Be brave, breathe, be grateful, give and just be. Life wants to move trough the heart. It is your task to open your heart and the hearts of others, to learn them how to. Not to wait until they’ll finally give you what you need, because they mostly – just like me -will not know how ..