all the same

How come we all live life in the same way? We all live in a house, sleep in a bed with our partner, the kids in a different room. Have three meals with almost the same kind of food. We have a telephone, a computer, a laptop, a bike, a car, carry a bag with the same stuff we need. We are all going to work in some way, we exercise, go away for the weekends, go to parties, check our email, listen to the radio in the car, paying the bills, worry about our work, about the right school for our children, about what other people think, about money, about love, about status, about our own guilt. We are all doing the same stuff in the same timeframe in the same way.

Even if we have more freedom than ever, there’s a broader variety in family forms, love forms, work forms, leisure and living forms than ever, we are still ALL doing the same things.

It makes me too brain dead to even come up with other ideas about how to arrange your life. I just found out a friend of mine in France lived for ten years (!) with her family without getting payed for their work, voluntary. And they had a house, a flourishing business, children. In every way they are an example of how you can live so different than society tells you to, without losing any quality, love or happiness. Sometimes I even think they have more. When you start to live something else, so many hidden treasures emerge from all those places you never even thought of going. When you stop buying stuff, you realize you don’t need anything. When you stop hurrying, you find out you have all the time in the world. When you stop planning ahead, you discover the flow of the day, or even the sun on your face!

If you start looking for it, there are a million ways to live your life. Who tells us there is only one? That you can’t live without a driving license? Without a roof over your head? Without the right insurance? Without that brand new luxury kitchen? You will live, because all those things we pinpoint life on, have nothing to do with life itself. They give you the illusion of security. Of being safe. Of doing well. I know the longing for those things, in moments that I feel insecure and unstable with our life moving back and forth, always juggling with money and work, that luxury kitchen and that fancy couch can be really appealing to me. But only for a minute, because I also know it isn’t real and it isn’t an answer to what I set out to do: get off the grid mentally and live life on my own terms.

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